Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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