absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
