apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
