Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
