Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
