I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
operation have a gay friend backfired
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
