so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
