my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
