i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He? As in you personified your dick?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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