I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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