His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
