my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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