mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
