She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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