I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
