tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
