I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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