Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
