Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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