It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
