Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"it" just moved
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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