idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
