??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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