Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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