Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
