I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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