you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
