I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
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happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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