so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
