I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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