Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
