She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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