he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
