There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
