their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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