im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
