Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
