Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
