Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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