My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
