South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
