They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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