I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
