Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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