btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize