yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.