he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder