And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk