Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
