Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
