Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
