I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
