Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
