No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize