The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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